The Wavy Palm Tree

I was swimming a couple of days ago, and I paused to look at the water. The palm trees extended out in living color next to the pool were a world away from the shapes reflected in the water. Waterside, their lines wobbled and waved over and over again.

I gazed from the real to the reflected, astonished at the difference.

Seeing isn’t as direct a verb as I had hoped.

Knowing that makes a big difference.

Just as the water alters appearances, our brains alter the way we see. We are left with wavering, uncertain images with brains that see what they expect to see.

In the end, we are left with the question… can we ever see our own reflection?

Does the true shape of the palm even matter if it’s so hard to see?

Can we remember the imperfect lines our minds draw?

Drag

It's a human feeling.

There's a sense of drag, something attached to our psyche via a thin, persistent thread. It's hard to let go of. It's even hard to identify, but we feel it's resistance as we walk throughout our lives.
It becomes impossible to ignore.

How can we reach out and see whatever this thing is?
Is it ever really possible to see ourselves? Can we know ourselves, on our own?

Even the smallest items can create weight and friction.
I worked with a client this past week where what frustrated her could only be seen close up, through the eyes of a trusted other.

What can we help each other see?

PS: BIG NEWS for email subscribers! This will be my last email sent via this newsletter. I’m moving all my active writing to Substack starting next week. Subscribe here to continue receiving my writing and information on other offerings. All writings will also live here in the blog archive.

Trust

People who ask to be trusted don’t understand trust.

Trust isn’t demanded or inherited; it’s earned and not on your timeline. People look for signs. Trust generation is slower, quieter, and smaller-scale than often imagined. It’s based on “thou,” not “I”. It’s based on a generous consideration of the other as central subject instead of anything or anyone else.

How to earn trust?

Try something else. Work in public.

Show what you tried despite the outcome. You can even share the mess.

Show what you learned. Be open about the mistakes.

Human adults consistently don’t know what we want or where we are. Admitting that is a relatable and shared experience.

If I see where you’re been, I can better appreciate where you are now. It gives me even more reason to believe in where you are going.

What starts with trust leads to opportunity.

Iquitos

Las personas que piden que se confíe en ellas no entienden la confianza.

La confianza no se exige ni se hereda; se gana y no en tu línea de tiempo. La gente busca señales. La generación de confianza es más lenta, silenciosa y a menor escala de lo que a menudo se imagina. Se basa en el «tú», no en el «yo». Se basa en una consideración generosa del otro como sujeto central en lugar de cualquier otra cosa o persona.

¿Cómo ganarse la confianza?

Intente otra cosa. Trabaja en público.

Muestra lo que has intentado a pesar del resultado. Incluso puedes compartir el desastre.

Muestra lo que has aprendido. Sé abierto sobre los errores.

Los adultos humanos no siempre sabemos lo que queremos o dónde estamos. Admitirlo es una experiencia afín y compartida.

Si veo por dónde has pasado, podré apreciar mejor dónde estás ahora. Eso me da aún más razones para creer en tu futuro.

Lo que empieza con confianza lleva a la oportunidad.