The Topography of your inner life

If you were to reach your fourth-grade hand to feel the elevated mountains in a poured plastic topography map, you would know the difference between higher and lower places without thinking about it.

One of my earliest memories from kindergarten is when we constructed islands by pouring dyed blue water around green clay to form islands. 

This is a peninsula. 

This is where the water goes.

If we peel back the thin layer between us and our inner lives—removing that shallow subcutaneous layer—we could detect the topography of our own inner lives. It’s a space that involves reaching, feeling, and sensing. Not much mental motor generation. 

Since a lot of what our intelligence is is simply returning to what’s already there, we don’t have to go that far to find it. It simply requires the use of one's fingertips to feel things.

What I wonder is what it's like to feel inside our own topography instead of simply using our exhausted and overstimulated brains. 

We might find a stronger source that doesn't rely on the power of generating new ideas but merely on identifying bumps under our fingers.

What’s there?

Secret Ego

The subconscious mind serves up all kinds of food at the table.

Some thoughts have useless ingredients. Who knows what kind of color-adding is in there?

You don’t have to eat any of those thoughts. You can be like Alice at the table and not eat me.

They are thoughts produced back there, in the kitchen, with a wide array of source ingredients of variable quality or meaning. Who knows what large industrial plastic bags our thoughts come out of?

Humans are filled with complexity.

I think a lot of thoughts I truly don’t believe. Not even a little bit.

It’s magical that as a human, our conscious mind gets to decide what's relevant or base-level true.

Maybe that's as strong a foundation as any to interrupt the reactive thinking my mind defaults to when I'm walking around.

Our ego can take secret forms, and the good news is that we can question its authority and let it babble away like a baby, unheard.

Let the babies inside of us simply be babies.

On Collapsing the Other

"I must respect your otherness because it emerges from the ultimate other, God." —Elie Wiesel

I’ve been reading Witness by Ariel Burger on the teachings of Elie Wiesel as I prepare for my fellowship retreat next week.

My work isn't to collapse other humans into categories I can comprehend—categories based on similarity, quite frankly, based on ME or versions of myself.

The work is to stay in the room long enough to truly engage with difference, not what is familiar. Not the broad brushstrokes that say we all share the same fundamental things. To be witnesses to who people actually are, not judges of how well they fit what we secretly expected.

We don't require similarity to connect, but we do need trust—impossible to develop when we're so quick to assume we already know who someone is based on how they remind us of ourselves.

We must learn to see the other as genuinely other. If I can see the other, the reference text of my own world expands outside of a simple one.

This was written during a kite-flying trip to Colorado.