I just arrived from the Institute where we are doing our current autism research study. I used to feel very nervous to be at this place in general, my vulnerability highlighted by the fact that I can speak Spanish fast, however, I do not yet understand really fast Spanish. I have quietly wondered how to leap over the stage where I make the first pancake in this situation, where I arrive after an unknown trip and I can just do it and feel safe.

I tried something different a few days ago where I decided to take up more space instead of less. Where I would speak slower and consume more seconds of my listeners time. I would pause and actually pronounce the things slower that need to said slower because Spanish has so many syllables it feel like all the parts of a novel need to arrive within one word. I asked for more attention, more patience, and more time instead of less. To be honest, I think it is less awkward than other options where I am stressed and trying to ignore what is hard just hoping it will be over soon.