Generousity

​So often in the world of vocation, we feel impoverished.

Not enough energy to focus.

Not enough time to delegate things fairly.

The thinking can go: there are too many sick people. The system is broken and impossible to fix.

I didn´t sleep enough last night.

I have already decided to write regularly, read more, take an online class, savor Iquitos, read more poetry, and meet new people. I have decided to investigate more areas of my own self and hold myself responsible for matters at my work.

I felt that way on Friday. I had a series of intensive sessions for work Monday through Wedneday of this week which left me feeling that I simply have run out of things to offer other people. That I am a mortal living on a warming planet, and I should just go try to be by myself. 

Years ago, I heard about a philosophy about responding to a sense of poverty within your own self.

That is, offering other people small or large amount of generousity is a way out of this mindset. It´s a way of difectly remembering that there´s more. There is more inside you. There is more available from the world.

What's notable about this is after pushing myself to respond in this way, even once, to someone when I feel completely bone dry, I tend to feel better. I tend to fill myself rising a little bit. It is me, gesturing to myself, that yes there is in fact, more.